


Loving Between Lines

by itxokayish



Series: (Not So) One Shots [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Abuse, Abusive Relationships, Hurt Keith (Voltron), Keith and Lotor are artists, Lance is also not the best, M/M, Manipulation, Mental Abuse, Orphan Keith (Voltron), Physical Abuse, Pining Lance (Voltron), Protective Shiro (Voltron), Unhealthy Relationships, and Lance resents him for how he ended up, but keith rejected him, implied Keith/Lance - Freeform, kangst, like they were a thing at one point in high school, lotor is a dick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-24
Updated: 2018-12-24
Packaged: 2019-09-25 23:41:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17130917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itxokayish/pseuds/itxokayish
Summary: Keith never feared being alone until Lotor came into his life. Keith never thought himself a person to settle for looking between the lines for something, but love makes you do stupid things, and settle for stupid people.





	Loving Between Lines

**Author's Note:**

> So as I rewrite another fanfic, I wanted to write this because not only am I a terrible person that likes making Keith suffer, but I love putting flaws in every character as well because we love confusing shit on this dear dashboard XD. 
> 
> Anyways, this has many triggers and they are listed below, so please read with caution, and go read some fluff if you are feeling sad because this will only feed your sadness. 
> 
> Self-worth, abusive realtionships, mental abuse, and characters being shitty

Lotor wasn’t a bad person.

He loved Keith, he cared for him when no one else wanted to, when everyone else rejected him.

It was the year of graduation in the college when he met Lotor, and their relationship was a secret to everyone. The fact that it was a secret made it much more exhilarating, as if they were living on the edge trying not get caught by anyone in their department.

Although they were both art majors, Keith didn’t want everyone to know about his sexuality, especially his parents. He hadn’t even accepted it himself until Lotor came into his life.

It was normal, the way their lives started weaving into each other. They were both in the after school figure drawing class for extra practice, and they both volunteered a lot after school. So he started seeing more of Lotor, or rather he started gaining more interest in Keith.

He still remembered the day Lotor asked to spend more time with him.

“Hey, do you want to go get coffee sometime after class before today’s evening class?” It was innocent, Keith didn’t think much of it, and the only response he got from his friends that heard about it was some shrugs.

The only mildly concerning response was Lance telling him there were rumors about Lotor going around school.

Keith wasn’t one to judge someone based on rumors though. That’s what everyone had done to him throughout his whole life, being the foster kid.

Labeled hot tempered. Angry. Unmanageable. Broken. Depressed. A useless case.

It had taken Keith a long time to face the fact that he wasn’t any of those things, and what everyone said about him wasn’t true. Maybe that’s why he even considered the idea of dating anyone, of continuing to see Lotor.

It also did help that Lotor was very attractive. He was tall and slim, not too buff to the point where he could crush Keith in half, but just right. With his adoptive brother Shiro, getting married, it helped having Lotor be with him.

It helped having someone care about him when he didn’t have that for most of his life.

“You okay?” Lotor has asked him as they sat in Lotor’s apartment, Keith started sobbing in the middle of the night as they watched a movie about some kid getting bullied. It brought up some past memories, and with the stress of finals, his friend group splitting apart, and Shiro’ wedding it only exponentially grew into an emotional disaster.

That’s the night that Keith told Lotor about his past, and Lotor responded by showering him in kisses, hugging him and carrying him to bed.

Keith was never an intimate person. He grew up not liking people touching him, and as he grew up even though he craved hugs and human contact, he had pushed people so far away that they just assumed he didn’t like it.

Shiro was the only one that did it regardless, until Lotor.

He allowed him to open up. He provided something that was precious to Keith, so that’s why he needed to give something precious to Lotor.

“Hey, what you doin?” Keith asked Lotor as they sat in bed that night, Lotor’s hand had wandered underneath his shirt as he dozed off. Lotor had responded by bringing a kiss to his neck and mumbling something incoherent to Keith.

Keith giggled, but his eyes widened as he felt Lotor’s hands start slipping down his boxers. He knew Keith was new to these types of things.

“Lotor,” Keith had whispered as he continued to feel pecks at his neck and a bottle cap opening.

“You are so beautiful,” Lotor kept repeating throughout the whole thing and Keith’s feeble attempts to talk to him were defeated the moment Lotor breeched him, leaving him an incoherent, rambling mess.

When they both managed to finish, Lotor stopped, wiping away Keith’s tears and latching their lips together as Keith’s mouth laid agape trying to keep up with Lotor’s pace.

“I love you so much,” Lotor had whispered in his ear, and Keith hadn’t responded, just let himself be spooned from behind as they went back to dozing off, or at least Lotor did.

~-~-~-~  
Keith didn’t mind that though, Lotor was always there for him. Every time he was sick, angry, and feeling horrible, he was there when everyone else wasn’t. He loved him, and it was only fair that Keith loved him back, whatever that entailed.

They continued past graduation. He moved away from Shiro and his new husband, Adam. A new city two hours away for a new couple; that’s what Lotor had said as they signed the lease on their new apartment closer to the art districts in the country.

At that point everyone knew that they were dating, it’s not like they showed any kind of reaction, Lotor pointed that out. Lance didn’t even look that happy, and Lotor pointed out the way Shiro disapproved of Keith’s choice.

Keith had lashed out at everyone because of that, they all looked at him, shocked and saying he was overreacting, but he knew they were trying to make him feel bad, Lotor knew too.

Pidge had been the first to leave their house warming party they had hosted, followed by Lance who gave Keith a sad look, Lotor pointed out that it looked more like a scowl though.

Keith was very distressed after that, telling Lotor how much he just wanted everyone to get along and approve of their relationship. Lotor had responded by telling him that the only approval he needed was Keith’s; that made Keith smile. He held onto that as Lotor had his way that night.

Their relationship progressed further on, everything seemed to work fine until Keith went out to drink with his coworkers. He hadn’t had the time to actually spend time out with all the orders coming into Lotor’s and hid studio, so it had been a nice break.

Lotor went out with some of his friends from a new art show he has been in, so it was just Keith and the rest of the workers they had hired.

There was a point where Keith had drunk too much and lost all consciousness. The next thing he remembered from that night was someone on top of him.

“Lotor,” he had mumbled and he saw the figure nod. He felt a hand fumbling with his pants zipper, but he had an uneasy feeling. The hands didn’t seem familiar. The scent wasn’t like Lotor. If only he would have focused his eyes a little harder, he could have avoided the aftermath of what happened.

There was screaming, yelling. He was dropped harshly on the living room floor, causing him to further black out and groan in pain.

“Lo-or,” he had whimpered as he felt the pain course through him. “Why you dro-op-hic-me?”

He didn’t get a response though for a couple of beats, footsteps running out, and a door closing, just a harsh grab of his collar and a backhand to his face.

It was enough to wake him up from his daze a little, but by the time he saw Lotor’s seething face and hand coming back to slap him again, it was too late.

“Keith, what the fuck? How-you slut! How could you,” Lotor yelled as he harshly fumbled with Keith’s pants, messily and unceremoniously breaching Keith, pulling him further from his daze, causing his eyes to widen.

He remembered not knowing what he did wrong, what was even going on, or why Lotor wouldn’t stop. He remembered crying and having his wrist pinned to his back as Lotor kept going, as Lotor wouldn’t stop.

That was all he remembered before he passed out, but it was all he needed to remember to know he had messed up his relationship, to know that he owed Lotor for doing that to him.

~-~-~-~-~

The morning after that, Lotor didn’t talk to him. He didn’t let Keith sleep in their bedroom, and anytime Keith would try to ask what was wrong, what he did wrong, Lotor would shut him down and make him feel guilty.

“You cheated on me with Joseph! I come home and he’s about to go down on your drunk ass, and all you do is beg for him like some whore who can’t get enough. I guess I just am not enough for you-,” Lotor lashed out.

“No, no Lotor, you are, Lotor,” Keith has repeated over and over as he gripped his arms, and feel to his knees. “Lotor, I’m sorry.”

“Get your disgusting hands off me. I don’t want to see you,” Lotor had responded, yanking Keith’s hands off and going back to their room, or what was now Lotor’s room.

He had left Keith sobbing for hours, apologizing over and over, saying he was drunk, saying he didn’t know what he was doing. Saying he loved Lotor, and he didn’t want to lose him.

The only response Keith got was a lock of their bedroom door.

Keith sobbed harder.

~-~-~-~-~

“You like that?” Lotor asked as he held Keith’s hips. It had been a week since the incident and Lotor had finally let him sleep in their bed. Keith nodded as he covered his mouth.

“So you cover your mouth for me, but not for Joseph?” Lotor commented and Keith looked at him and brought his hand down.

“Lotor,” Keith began to say. He had promised to stop bringing it up, to stop guilt tripping him. “You know that has nothing to do with this-,” Keith said, but Lotor didn’t listen, just ignored him and kept going.

“Not like it matters, all you are ever good for is sex anyways. Ever since you came crying to me after all your friends left you, it was the only thing to calm you down. I guess it’s just a habit now,” Lotor said almost too calm, which is what made it worse.

“That-that isn’t true,” Keith said as he tried to get rid of Lotor’s grasp, only to be grabbed harder and flipped onto his stomach.

“So now you have been with someone else, and you don’t need me? Is that how easily you throw away people?” Lotor asked, harshly going in without any warning, making Keith’s eye widen and his hands frantically try to push him off.

“Stop! Lotor, stop! St-hic-op, pl-hic-ease! I’m sorry,” Keith begged as Lotor kept going regardless.

“You did this, Keith. This is all your fault,” Lotor said and Keith stopped struggling, he just cried.

~-~-~-~-~

Lotor apologized after that night, but the damage was done. Keith lived believing that he had caused this awful change in Lotor; that if he wasn’t such a needy slut, maybe Lotor wouldn’t have become what he is now.

Regardless, he doesn’t hate Lotor. On the contrary, he is afraid of losing him. At that point, he had pushed everyone away so much that no one would ever want him, anyone but Lotor.

And Lotor told him that, it’s not like he needed to be told the truth though, he already knew it.

What confused him more is that Lotor was actually a really nice person around other people. He was charismatic, friendly, and funny. At home there were times when he would braid Keith’s hair and do face masks together. Months passed and they were well off, or Keith learned to get used to it. It was just the way Lotor showed his love.

Lotor took Keith out to his favorite restaurant and proposed in the middle of a fireworks show at Disneyland, hugging Keith so tight, and kissing him so gently that Keith could almost ignore the bruises on his back from the night before.

He would even do little surprises to mask the fact that their relationship was beyond perfect. But Keith believed no relationship was perfect, and they could work on it, especially since they were engaged.

That’s what he thought until Lotor went too far.

Until Keith decided that despite how much of a horrible person he was, and how much he was unworthy of anything, he couldn’t stay with Lotor any longer.

He had come home from work late because he had recently gotten an offer to do his first art show and he was doing the finishing touches on the pieces he would showcase two days from then and forgot his phone at the studio, so he couldn’t tell Lotor who had come home earlier. When he entered the room all hell broke loose and Lotor shattered their coffee room table, making hundreds of little glass shards stab Keith.

He beat him up so bad that he had to be taken to the emergency room, and the excuse Lotor had made up was that Keith was suffering from some type of trauma; that he had been raped a while back by a coworker who had gotten him drunk.

Keith even started crying when he heard that, only making it more believable.

He hated Lotor, but he loved him so much.

The next day before Lotor woke up, he had slipped out of the apartment and gone to their studio to do the thing that made him forget what was happening at home, paint. Paint because his first show was soon. He hadn’t even told Lotor about it.

Lotor hated when Keith talked about his own career.

As he fumbled with the keys, Shiro had visited and he had never seen a look more terrified plastered on his adoptive brother’s face. He hadn’t seen Shiro in so long since he and Adam moved all the way to the east coast for Adam’s new job offer.

“What happened, oh god, Keith. Adam, Lance and I came to see you and, god Keith, are you okay?” Shiro gasped. “Hunk and Pidge are flying in tomorrow, we just all wanted to come and see your first show.”

His first show. He started sobbing after that.

His friends had come to surprise him at his first show, and his own fiancée didn’t even know about it.

“Keith, what, what happened?” Shiro asked and Keith just shook his head and sobbed. Not the gentle sobbing, but the full on not able to breathe and hiccuping sobbing.

It took him minutes to calm down, and Shiro sat there through it all.

“Keith, tell me what’s going on,” he said sternly, and Keith only responded with one thing, and one thing only.

“I can’t go back home.”

~-~-~-~-~  
So without question Shiro drove him back to his hotel. There was no explanation given to anyone in the friend group as Shiro explained to everyone that the art show got cancelled.

They all saw Keith though, they all saw the bruise on his face, they knew that wasn’t the reason they were leaving.

In the hotel lobby Lance had sat next to him as Shiro got all the bags and suitcases to the main floor.

“How could you stay with him for so long?” Lance had asked him, and Keith looked at him with pure shock.

He guessed it wasn’t that hard to blame this situation on him. Maybe Lotor was right and Shiro was wrong all along, it was his fault. He was the stupid one for staying, so why did he expect any less than what he got?

Why did he expect Lotor to change? Why did he ever think Lotor was capable of changing after Keith did something to horrible to him?

“I owed him,” Keith mumbled as he touched his purple cheek. “He-well he did so much for me when I felt alone. And I-well I just-I thought that I-I didn’t know what I would do without him,” Keith replied, looking at his feet.

“That sounds so pathetic,” Lance chuckles and Keith looks up with him with tears eyes. “Like, you have us. You have a brother, you have a system, and you would rather stay with someone like that. What would have happened if we hadn’t shown up?”

Keith’s mouth stayed agape, he didn’t have a response.

“You know, I liked you all throughout out college years. When we dormed together, you were so full of inspiration and mystery. You seemed so strong,” Lance said. “And you just let yourself be pushed around by some psychotic asshat.”

This wasn’t the cheery Lance he remembered. This wasn’t the happy and hyper man he remembered from his high school and college years.

The way Lance stared at him made him shiver, and the way his words dig into his wounds only made Keith feel even worse. He caused this.

Maybe if he wasn’t so stupid his friends wouldn’t think this. Maybe if he wasn’t such a slut, such a needy and clingy fiancée Lotor wouldn’t be like this. Maybe if he wasn’t Keith, he wouldn’t be causing everyone around him to change, just like he made Lotor change.

This was all his fault.

“I’m sorry,” is the only thing that comes out of Keith’s mouth. “I-I’m so-hic- sorry,” Keith said as he brought his hands to his face and started sobbing in the middle of the lobby’s sitting area.

 


End file.
